Archive for the 'Good Men Project' Category

Crash and Learn

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

I woke to the sound of metal scraping against pavement. Sparks brightened that otherwise gray winter day in 1991. I was hanging upside down inside my girlfriend’s baby-blue Ford Escort, suspended by a seat belt as the car hurtled at 60 miles per hour along the westernmost section of the Massachusetts Turnpike.

I was 26 at the time. I had been in New York City with my girlfriend the night before, taking a break from my grad studies at Yale and drinking until dawn. While she took a train home to Albany, I had gone to class in New Haven, still drunk, and then set out for Albany myself. On the 30-mile stretch of the Mass. Pike between Exit 3 in Westfield and Exit 2 in Lee, you see nothing but pine trees and the occasional white-tailed deer. Somewhere along that span I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

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Raising Boys (A Dad’s Advice for Moms)

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

Let’s get one thing clear from the get go: moms are generally better parents than dads. And that goes double for me. I’ve had three kids across two marriages and I am undoubtedly the weak link. My 17-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son trust their step-mom more than they trust me, which proves that I married well but am still getting the hang of being a dad. Most of us are.

That said, there are a few subtle nuances that I have picked up along the way as a dad that might come in handy for moms raising boys.

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Sh*t Guys Do

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

We asked men from across the country—including Sebastian Junger, Robert Pinsky, Andrew Sullivan, and James Franco—to name their favorite “guy ritual.”

Franco may have hit upon the most consummate male ritual—reading a newspaper on the toilet. When I dared bring this up to friends at a recent social gathering, I had no idea it would cause such an uproar.

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Are Women’s Colleges Outdated?

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

I’ve always been skeptical about women’s colleges. I grew up in Amherst within a few miles of Smith and Mount Holyoke where, I admit, I tried to sneak into parties as a high school student. Beyond serving a destination for horny young men, the colleges always gave me the creeps, perhaps because I was explicitly excluded from the community or because of some juvenile fantasy that the schools harbored a lesbian cult. Still, the women who went there, it seemed to me, were living in some bygone gender-segregated era where such a place had a purpose. I assumed they went to women’s colleges largely because they couldn’t get into the numerous elite coed schools.

Why go to Smith if you could go to Amherst?

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A Man in a Boat

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

A black-and-white image. It had been tucked away in an album for years before I snuck it out of our family camp on an island in a lake in Maine. “Megunticook” is the name of the venture capital firm I started and ran for a decade before shutting our doors last week. It’s also the name of that lake in Camden. When I first started Megunticook Management, a secretary blew up the image to an 8 x 10 and put it in a silver frame. I’ve brought the picture with me as we moved offices over the years. Saturday morning, a truck delivered boxes of files to my home office—a garret in the third-floor corner of our home in Brookline, Massachusetts—and the picture was the first thing I unpacked.

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