Archive for June, 2012

The New Macho

Jun 26 2012 Published by under Good Men Project

Men are certainly under attack from all sides at the moment—whether it’s the endless list of celebrity bad boys or the sociologists who have come to fame by pointing out the statistical impotence of men at-large. Apparently males these days watch porn 50 times a week, on average, play endless video games, fail out of school, and are increasingly anti-social.

Those of us with testosterone and a well-meaning heart, we don’t have much room to maneuver. For a good number of guys in my cohort (40s, white, from supposedly forward-looking backgrounds), the double bind of manhood predates the most recent attacks. Our feminist moms told us to be just like them to be loved. For our dads, the idea of macho got lost in some encounter group somewhere (except for Burt Reynolds in Semi-Tough, when he is supposed to piss himself during a EST conference but sneaks in a catheder flask taped to his leg as back-up, which, ironically, I have a clear memory of going to see with my dad). So we just gave up on being macho.

Continue reading on The Good Men Project.

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Interview with Tom Matlack

Jun 22 2012 Published by under Press

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Tom Matlack on Tyra

Jun 22 2012 Published by under Press

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Breaking the silence on men and rape

Jun 22 2012 Published by under Press

(CNN) — Stereotypes can rumble around in our collective brains for decades, sometimes centuries, before finally being edged out by a more nuanced understanding of reality. It’s been that way with our views about race, creed, sexual orientation and gender roles.

The Justice Department’s announcement this week that it has changed the definition of rape to include men is one such step on the long road to better understanding.

Keep reading on CNN.

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Man, I Need a Good Cuddle

Jun 22 2012 Published by under Press

Fifteen years ago now I was going through a difficult divorce (as if there is any other kind). I had a baby son and toddler daughter. Amid the suffering, something miraculous happened. I began to give my son his evening bottle and rock him to sleep.

I think it was the smell of his innocence that changed me. That and the feeling of his soft cheek in the crook of my neck. I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could, and held him tight, well past the point he had fallen asleep.

Read the rest on The New York Times.

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